The Truth About the Puppy Blues (Post-Puppy Depression)
We often associated bringing home a puppy with happiness and excitement, but there is another side to this major life change.
If you have recently brought a new pup into your home and you’re feeling down or upset, you’re not alone! This is a very real struggle known as Post-Puppy Depression or the Puppy Blues.
For days and weeks, the anticipation built as you purchased supplies, puppy-proofed your home and got everything to welcome your newest family member.
However, it’s not long before you find yourself sitting on the floor, holding back tears, and plagued by a long list of questions and doubts.
Did I make a mistake?
Was I really ready for this?
Does a puppy really fit into my lifestyle?
Why did I ruin my otherwise great routine? Is there something wrong with me?
If this sounds familiar, try not to be too hard on yourself. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad dog parent or that you are a bad person in any way.
Post-Puppy Depression is far more common than people realize!
What is Post-Puppy Depression?
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of bringing a new puppy home.
We build up this image in our minds of the puppy cuddles and playtime, the perfect experience with our adorable new family member.
However, when your pup does come home, reality sets it… and it can be shocking!
Puppies are A LOT of work and the addition of a puppy to your home can mean a lot of changes to your daily routine.
For many dog parents (especially first-time puppy parents), the whole experience can be exhausting, challenging, difficult and overwhelming.
Like Post-Partum Depressions, a well-documented condition among new mothers, the Puppy Blues are characterized by a variety of difficult feelings either right after you bring your puppy home or after the first few weeks or months have passed.
Overtired from lack of sleep, frustrated by cleaning up toileting accidents and covered in little bite marks from your teething puppy’s sharp little teeth, you find yourself doubting if this was a good idea.
It’s the point where reality doesn’t match the expectations that you had set for yourself.
In many cases, it leaves the new dog parent questioning if they are doing something wrong or somehow failing, making this all more difficult than it should be.
The truth is that it’s not your fault, puppies are HARD!
Trust me, we are going through the puppy stage right now ourselves with our newest addition to the family, a 5-month-old German Shepherd mix puppy named Lucifer (fitting?).
Remind yourself that the puppy stage is finite.
Your little psycho monster (What? Just my puppy?) will grow and mature into an adult dog, and you will be looking back on the puppy antics laughing.
Some common contributing factors that may be triggering your feelings include:
- Feeling Distant: Rather than feeling this magical close bond, you aren’t quite ‘clicking’ with your puppy yet. But don’t worry, that can take time!
- Lack of Sleep: Whether you’re getting up all hours of the night because your puppy is crying, or just for nighttime potty breaks, your sleep time is often sacrificed.
- Overwhelming Responsibility: Puppies are a lot of work, and it can be stressful trying to stay on top of it. This is especially difficult for first-time puppy parents that weren’t completely aware of what they were getting into in terms of the level of care required.
- Training Challenges: From potty training to teaching your dog basic obedience skills, there is a lot of training in the early days, and it doesn’t always go according to plan.
- Financial Demands: Even if you did extensive research to get an idea of what it would cost to care for a puppy, actually paying out money for supplies, vaccinations, adoptions fees, etc. can be stressful.
- Destruction and Chaos: A puppy can turn your whole life upside down. From trying to keep them out of trouble to dealing with items around the house that have been destroyed, it can be a lot to ad just to.
- Introductions: As much as we would love everyone to get along right away, including adults, kids, and other pets, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes it takes work.
Whatever the cause, know that there is nothing on this list that other pet parents haven’t also struggled with. You’re not alone!
Tips & Tricks for Surviving the Puppy Blues
You know that you’re struggling, and the above information only confirms your thoughts. Now what?
There is no magical formula to completely prevent or get rid of the puppy blues, but there are things that you can do to help make this time a little easier.
Set Realistic Expectations
One change that you can start making immediately is to reframe your thinking and manage your expectations.
While puppies are adorable, they are also a lot of work and sometimes things are going to go wrong.
They are going to have accidents, they aren’t always going to listen to you, they bite, and they chew everything that they can get their paws on.
If you go into this experience with all of that in mind, you can be mentally prepared to handle the challenges.
Share the Work
Get the whole family involved with your puppy’s care so that it’s not too much on a single person.
If you live alone, consider finding a dog walker to give you a break or connecting with other pet parents for some additional support.
You would be surprised how many people will willingly take a short ‘shift’ just to get their puppy fix knowing that they can give your puppy back when their time is up.
Find a Working Schedule (and Stick to It)
Dogs thrive off schedules and structure so why not use this to help create some order in your home?
Create a schedule that accounts for all the basics in your daily routine including mealtimes, work time, time for housework and even time for a workout, if that’s something you prioritize.
In this schedule, you will need to include supervised playtimes, puppy nap time, and blocks of time for training.
Working with a schedule will not only help your puppy adjust to your daily routine but will also make everything feel far more manageable.
Limit Your Puppy’s Access to the Home
Set your puppy up for success by starting with a smaller, puppy-proofed area of the home and working your way to giving them more freedom.
Not only does this help with potty training, but it also makes it easier to prevent unnecessary accidents and the destruction of your favourite belongings.
This can easily be done using pens and safety gates to block off doorways and access points.
Stay Committed to Training
While dog parents usually start training their puppy with the best intentions in mind, too often they allow life to get in the way and drop the ball.
Training is only going to work if you are committed to putting in the time and effort.
If you find that you are getting frustrated with a lack of progress, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from a local trainer.
Another great option is group training classes that will both help you with the training process while also providing an amazing opportunity for socialization with other dogs.
Celebrate the Small Accomplishments
This may seem silly but tracking your progress can really help to remind you of how far you have come.
When you are ‘in the trenches’ of puppy training, everything will often start to blur together making it hard to see just how much you have accomplished.
By tracking your progress, you will be able to spot improvements helping you to see that you really are getting somewhere.
Maybe your dog went 2 hours before crying in his crate instead of 1 ½ hours, or he played on his own for 20 minutes with a toy for the first time.
Whatever the accomplishment, celebrate! Those small steps add up over time…
Make Time for Self-Care
One of the best things that you can do for your whole family (pets included) is to make yourself a priority.
This means taking time to focus on your self-care, however that looks for you.
Curl up with a good book, enjoy a long walk, take a much-needed nap, or draw a relaxing bath complete with your favourite television show.
Include self-care in your schedule and stick to it. Treat this appointment with yourself the same way you would an appointment with your doctor or a work-related meeting.
Seek Professional Help
If you are working through the options here, your puppy is starting to show improvements, and you are still struggling, this may be a sign that there is something more going on.
While many dog parents will experience the puppy blues, the added stress of bringing a new puppy home may trigger or highlight some bigger issues that need to be addressed.
Please note, there is NOTHING wrong with asking for help for your mental health!
For more help and available resources, visit this resource from the Canadian Mental Health Association.
How Long Do the Puppy Blues Last
There is no definitive timeline for Post-Puppy Depression.
For some dog parents, it will last only a couple of days. For others, this can last weeks while you work through the emotions that you are feeling.
Bringing a new puppy into your life is like a roller coaster, full of highs and lows. You may think that you’re over it only to have it come back a day or two later.
Try to take it one day at a time. It WILL get better!
Have you ever experienced the puppy blues? If so, what helped you to work through those challenging emotions?
Feature Image Credit: 8777334 | Canva
I had no idea the puppy blues was a thing, but then I’ve only ever had one dog and that was during my childhood. We didn’t have any issues with destructive behaviour or loss of sleep. I guess we were lucky then. My mum did find toilet training our dog a bit stressful though
I find that children often don’t experience it simply because the weight of responsibility isn’t on their shoulders the way that it is for the adults in the family. It’s usually the new puppy’s primary caregiver that struggles most.
I totally got the puppy blues after we got our first dog! I remember almost exactly the scene you described – sitting on the kitchen floor crying, so tired from lack of sleep, wondering if I had made a mistake. That “puppy” will be 13 later this year and I can’t even imagine my life without him. When we got our second puppy, luckily I didn’t have to deal with the blues with him. I think it was partly because he was an easier puppy, and partly that I had been there, done that and knew what to expect.
Knowing what to expect definitely helps. It allows you to be prepared for some of the struggles that you’re going to face along the way.
This is so interesting, I’ve never heard of the puppy blues but I can see how they could occur. I was never anything but overjoyed to have my girl Icy as a puppy and I miss the puppy days so much even though it wasn’t always easy. We couldn’t bring her home until she was 14 weeks old due to unavoidable travel for 3 weeks so finally bringing her home made it that much better. I have felt like I was failing at certain points, wondering if I was doing the right thing. All your suggestions are great, my biggest piece of advice is to go to a puppy class. That helped me so much, it was a Godsend. PetSmart had great puppy classes, they were group classes so puppy socialization was part of it, they were fun, and we connected w/ other pet parents going through the puppy stage as well. The class was very affordable too. Awesome post Britt!
Love & Biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
We are super lucky, there is a well-respected trainer just a block away and they run basic obedience classes. It was definitely something that I took note of as we were making plans to bring out boy Lucifer home!
This is very informative. I know when I adopted my dog, he wasn’t a puppy, but I did second guess my decision. Even though I had done all my research, I wondered if I had bitten off more than I chew. At the time I was caring for my wheelchair bound, blind, elderly mother, working, and trying to stay sane. While my new companion was amazing. Anything additional in my schedule was a struggle. I did enter us straight away into obedience classes. I really was pushing myself to the breaking point. He did superb. I’m not sure if this would be called “puppy blues” because he certainly wasn’t a puppy. But I definitely was second guessing. I’m really glad I pushed through those bad few months. He’s really the best dog I’ve ever known. I’ve very grateful for him. Thanks for this enlightening post!
It sounds like you had quite a bit on your plate! I think anyone would second guess to some degree in that situation. I’m glad to hear that it all worked out and the obedience classes helped with the transition into his new life.
I can see how this can be something people struggle with and I am glad you are letting people know that it’s OK to feel like this. I was not sure about taking on young Toulouse when we got him, but as he became part of the family I knew we had made the right choice!
I hope that it can help people see that there is nothing wrong with the emotions that they are struggling with. I also hope to encourage new dog owners and help them realize that they CAN do this! After all, the puppy phase is short-lived.
I have never heard of puppy blues but it makes so much sense also. I have never had a puppy as I have always rescued older dogs but even with them you have problems in the beginning till everything falls into place. Great post and an absolute eye opener.
Yes, there is an adjustment period for dogs of every age and size, isn’t there? Both Daviana and Indiana came to us as adult dogs and there was some work involved there as we helped ease them into their new lives.
Oh, wow, there is even a name for it? I do remember how overwhelmed I was when we brought Jasmine home. It felt like she required full attention 24/7, and I couldn’t get any rest or work done. I was quite stressed out back then.
Yes! No matter how prepared you are, the reality can hit hard and leave you questioning. I think most if not all of us struggled with it at one point or another.
I’ve never heard of the puppy blues, but it makes so much sense! We recently adopted a kitten, and about two days after she came home, I remember worrying, “did I just make a huge mistake?” I’m glad to know that is normal! Fortunately, my doubts were short-lived. She has been with us for almost 3 weeks now. Thankfully, now all three of my dogs have accepted her as one of the family.
I never thought that I would struggle with it as someone who has so much information about puppy care, but I’ll admit that I was feeling it for a couple of days shortly after Lucifer came here. Juggling a new puppy and working from home was a little more challenging than I had banked on.
Prior to reading this, I had never heard of Post-Puppy Depression before. With each dog I have been involved with in the past, I had a lot of time and energy to devote and I just accepted that things take time. I suppose it would be much harder if you are going through a difficult or stressful time in your life. Mind you, I also think dogs are really great for helping you destress after a bad day at work. They are always there for you and love you no matter what. Puppies obviously present more challenges while they are learning but it is so worth it in the end. I just love the photo of your new puppy Lucifer – he just looks adorable!
They are great for destressing, but they can also be the cause of stress at some points. There are some situations with Lucifer that I know that I am SUPER lucky. He sleeps through the night entirely and has no accidents all night, has since night 1. I know that’s far from the experience that many other puppy owners have to face and lack of sleep can really add to the stress level for those that are struggling. That being said, I agree that the work is most definitely worth it in the end!
I had never even thought of this! But it makes perfect sense! And I suppose it’s where the ‘A dog is for life not just for Christmas’ campaign (in the UK) came from… people getting excited about the cute and then realising that supporting essentially an infant animal is TOUGH work.
Thank you so much for sharing and offering support!
That campaign is SO important! It is a big commitment, one that lasts the lifetime of that pet. I have one pup right now that has been with me for 12 years so far, and she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. I wouldn’t have it any other way. That being said, my life has changed A LOT in 12 years and I had to make it a priority to include her in my life every step of the way – with every move, every new relationship, etc.
I had no idea that puppy blues was a thing. But now that you’ve explained it, it makes perfect sense. Like any life change, getting a new family member can make someone feel depressed or question themselves.
It’s very similar to post-partum depression experienced by new mothers. Everyone expects you to be excited and happy, creating this expectation of everything going perfectly when the reality is that there are going to be hiccups, changes, and challenges.
I had heard about Puppy Blues but did not know why it happens. And of course how to deal with it. When I had got my first Puppy home it had always been so much of pleasure. That was of course I was a kid. Lucifer reminds me so much of him.
Many of us who grow up with puppies have the same experience. Our parents shoulder the real pressure and it leaves us wondering if there’s truth to the idea of post-puppy depression. It wasn’t until I adopted my first puppy on my own that I had a glimpse of the challenges that come with it.
I had no clue that post puppy blues were a thing. I think I say that often when I visit your blog, because I always learn new and unexpected things. This is something that makes perfect sense. In our minds, we’ve had time to build the illusion of a perfect, magical, happy experience with bringing a new puppy home, and then reality comes to visit and stay. And reality versus that illusion in our heads are NOT remotely the same! I love your tips about self-care and patience. It really does take a lot of work to give a puppy an amazing home.
It’s definitely not the same lol I love Lucifer to death, and he’s an incredibly well-behaved puppy, but it’s not all puppy kisses and snuggles! It’s a lot of work but the good moments more than makeup for the challenges.
Wow you really do learn something new everyday, I did not realise that a dog could suffer like this. Post puppy blues in good to know about and what signs to look for x
I had issues with clicking and creating a bond with one my dogs. He was a lovely puppy but his puppy period wasn’t a happy for me (also my partner and I had a rough moment in the relationship so it felt even worse). Your post is very true, I enjoyed reading it and I kinda wish I could read it 10 years ago
It’s hard when it doesn’t go the way that you pictured it going. That is why I hope that I can get more people talking about it with this post.
A friend of mine recently went through and I had no clue that it was an actual thing!
Rosie
I don’t think most people realize that it’s a real thing until they or someone they know is experiencing it first-hand.
I can’t relate to this since I don’t have pets. I know the routine and schedule changes but never thought there’s an emotion series involved too. The managing of time and setting schedules and limiting their entry to the house were great ways to know for a beginner or even those who can’t manage it yet but can try to. Liked the post. Xx
Isa A. Blogger
https://www.lifestyleprism.com/
It can definitely be an emotional time but it’s one that’s well worth it if you stick it out and focus on training your pup. In the end, you’ll have a well-trained dog that is well adjusted to your lifestyle.
Aw, I love this post! I could see that the excitement from getting a puppy can make you feel down quickly. When you’ve hit the highest high, you go low and that’s how it goes! I love the celebrate small victories point! It’s so true. We’ve got to appreciate succeeding all our small goals. Thanks for sharing x
Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
This is so true. Life is often a roller coaster, isn’t it?